Well, the trains are almost done, at great expense and pain. The electrical hook-up was complicated and way over my head. After an exhaustive three-minute search on google, I managed to find a micro-electrician to do the job. No, he's not small electrician. He's an expert at micro-electronics, and he knows how – and more importantly, why – all the electrical and electronic components inside the trains work, including how to set up insulation blocks, how to test and fix transformers, and a whole bunch of other shit most people including me don't really care about. I figured I'd leave the complicated stuff to the experts. Heck, you wouldn't do your own dental work, would you? Anyway, I tried to pay attention to what he was doing, in hopes that some of it would rub off on me. That, of course, proved to be useless. But I did get a shock, so I guess technically something rubbed off on me after all.
If you want to know what it looks like inside the cockpit of a 747, take a peek under my train table. There are literally hundreds of wires, as well as dozens of solder points, voltage regulators, terminal boards, timers, and plug-in relays. I couldn't tell you how all this stuff works, but the top of the table is a beautiful thing.
He wired up 29 buildings, as well as switches, block signals which turn green when the train passes through them, a pair of operating crossing gates and signals, a few rotating beacons, a neon gas station sign, and a blinking bridge light. All that's left to do is the scenery, streetlights, and some plexi around the edges to really hammer home my OCD. Hey, it's just a polite way of saying "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT". By the way, spray foam rules. Just don't get it in your eyes or you will die.
I will post a few pics when it is done in a few more weeks. In fact, I think I'm going to make a little video of it; the new trains create incredibly realistic sounds, including the conductor speaking, the breaks squeaking, that distinctive locomotive horn, smoke, and even cruise control. It's really quite impressive how far technology has taken this hobby. I have to give it to MTH for being such innovators, and lighting a flame under Lionel's ass in the process. That's not to say that Lionel won't always have a bigger place in my heart. My dad's old Wabash and his 20-wheel Berkshire were made by Lionel, and they're probably the only things I'd grab in a fire.
If you're not impressed by all this, that's fine. There's a three-year old kid who lives across the hall from me who is so excited to play with it, I really think he craps in his pants every time he sees me come home from work. And that, of course, makes it all worth it.
I'm not in the business of spending other people's money, but I couldn't help notice Leona Helmsley's last fuck you to humanity. It looks like she left $12 million in a trust fund to her dog 'Trouble', a mere $100,000 to her chauffeur, Nicholas Celea, the man who drove her around day in and day out, and a big ol' goose egg to two of her four grandchildren. Yeah, bupkas, zilch, zippo. Man, that's gotta suck.
